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";s:4:"text";s:11453:" Business Hacks | marketing - why some videos go viral Jordan Belfort: [voice over] These little bastard were so strong I discovered a whole new phase; the cerebral palsy phase. I mean, honestly, what is it that you think that we did or do? Mark Hanna: Well, how the f**k else would you do this job? Scalp! You can save the f**king spotted owl with money. Jordan Belfort: Sweetheart, what are you doing? [strippers enter the office as everybody celebrates]. [Nicky tries to pull Jordan off the Stewardess] Ma! I’m wearing a wire”], [after reading the note Donnie is silent for a moment before replying], [Jordan grabs the fish from Donnie’s plate and eats it], [Donnie takes a napkin and covers Jordan’s note with it], [Jordan is asleep in his bed when Violet knocks on the door and enters the room], [Jordan reluctantly gets up, he walks out into the hallway and sees Denham and two other FBI agents waiting for him downstairs], [Denham holds up the note Jordan had written to Donnie], [the two other agents walk upstairs and come over to Jordan], [Denham and his agents enters Stratton Oakmont offices], [the agents start grabbing some of the brokers including Kimmie], [as Jordan is being led away by the guards he looks at his parents and smiles, his mother cries while Max looks away in disappointment, then we see Denham reading the article of Jordan being sentenced as he sits on the subway, he looks around him realizing he’s exactly where Jordan said he’d be], [we see Jordan playing tennis with the other prison inmates], [we see a Straight Line seminar being held in Auckland, New Zealand where the host is played by the real Jordan Belfort], [last lines; the audience claps and Jordan walks onto the stage], [Jordan looks at the audience, then steps down and goes over to a man sitting in the front row, he takes out a pen and offers it to him], [the man takes the pen and begins awkwardly], [Jordan takes the pen from him and offers it to the man in the next seat], [Jordan takes the pen from him and offers it to another audience member], [we see all the audience members watch with eagerness], ‘Let me tell you something. There were two guys over there on the table, there were more over here. Nicky Koskoff: That’s a fact, I saw it on PBS. Dwayne: I’m Dwayne. Jordan.   Lucas Solomon: There’s a term, and we don’t like to use it unless circumstances dictate, and I think they do dictate in this case, and the term is “Grenada.” Have you ever heard of Grenada? Nicky Koskoff: Okay, okay, I am going! That’s the truth. Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. [Jordan, Naomi, Donnie and Brad stare at Chantalle after Brad has finished taping the money to her body] Come on board. Jordan Belfort: Yeah, I do alright for myself. [Denham and his agents enters Stratton Oakmont offices] Our market’s solid. You see, for a brief fleeting moment, I’d forgotten I was rich and I lived in a place where everything was for sale. Donnie Azoff: Bro, are you trying…? With Naomi, my Duchess, me her handsome Duke in The Bahamas Ocean Club our castle. [Jordan looks back as he hears the glass breaking but quickly turns to the others to carry on] [then he says out loud] Jordan Belfort: Let me introduce you. Jordan Belfort: Hey, fellas! Max Belfort: What kind of hooker takes credit cards? As the saying goes, take what you like, leave the rest. Even the big Wall Street firms were buying. She’s never been on a jet-ski. They flight there alone was a bacchanal, one last blow out for the Gods before I settled down for good. But I got to take the tally, because I want to keep all five in healthy shape. Jordan Belfort: Right. Max Belfort: Really? [Jordan holds up a headshot of a Dwarf] Jordan Belfort: Dad, he said T and A. Don’t listen to him. Sweetheart, I have rare condition which requires me to drink one of those every fifteen minutes, please. I got it, I got it. He didn’t want any part of us. Jordan Belfort: Hey, welcome aboard. [he starts throwing the money at Denham and Hughes as they walk away] Donnie is out of control. [the brokers start throwing stuff at Steve and booing him]. Be brave. He’s smart, you’re dumb. Do you guys have any milk? Jordan Belfort: Yeah? Jordan Belfort: Put your seat belt on. Number one rule of Wall Street. Donnie Azoff: For work, what do you do? Jordan Belfort: [voice over] f**king heart attack. Bo Dietl: Are we f**king talking tonight, or are you going to get… You know what? Naomi Lapaglia: Donnie! Or my money arriving safely in Switzerland. Jordan Belfort: Do you like it? [his broker friends laugh]. Donnie Azoff: Give me the phone! They all pi**ed off because they have to make money legally now? That I promise you, okay? Because professional networks lead to more job and business opportunities, broader and deeper knowledge, improved capacity to innovate, faster advancement, and greater status and authority. Thee sleeping pills just kicked in. Assuming the account is under your name. I… I check in with them. Violet: Mr. Jordan, you got a visitor.   [the dwarf is thrown and goes hurtling towards the board and the camera freezes on him as Jordan introduces himself], Jordan Belfort: [voice over] My name is Jordan Belfort. I’m a mutt. She’ll still be dead by the time we get to London, okay? Jordan Belfort: If you want to be a millionaire someday, have some guts, make a decision. Naomi Lapaglia: No! Donnie Azoff: Steve Madden. Oh, sh*t! Jordan Belfort: Okay, Mommy likes to play games with Daddy. Hildy Azoff: I’d like to see you try. Jordan Belfort: You see that? Jean Jacques Saurel: The only way the Banque Real de Geneve would cooperate with a foreign legal body is if the crime being pursued is also a crime in Switzerland. Donnie Azoff: Max. Jordan Belfort: Subpoena? Heidi: We’d be happy to help. Donnie Azoff: You got to do me one favor. Donnie Azoff: Ah, f**k. [Jordan gives the client two fingers again] Listen to me. But we have the house and we have a thirty-three thousand dollar profit. Business Hacks | what is disruptive innovation now? And it’s truly with a heavy heart that I’m here to say that, that that day is finally here. Aunt Emma: Well there are worse things to be addicted to than sex. I think it was 150 grand. Jean Jacques Saurel: Ooph. Mm-hmm. SEC Attorney #2: Francis Ortiz you called so many times I just thought you might remember that. Donnie Azoff: Shut the f**k up! Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I mean, what person with a collage education would trust this bunch of jerk-offs. Max Belfort: Jordy! [Jordan doesn’t respond] Jordan Belfort: I can’t leave the house. Did you say a shopping mall? See those little black boxes? What…? [they both laugh], Jordan Belfort: You want a beer, pal? Hector: Excellent strategy, sir. Straight Line Testimonial #2: Think about it for a second. So turn the page, get off the ride. My slur phase. [Naomi goes over to Skylar as Jordan continues to grab the phone off Donnie]   You should be happy for the both of us. That’s right. [Naomi parts her thighs, Jordan drops to his hands and knees and watches her transfixed] Jordan Belfort: Hi, Blair. Jordan Belfort: And you know why that is? Bo Dietl: What the f**k did you say? Jean Jacques Saurel: Yeah. [as they drag Jordan out of the house] Donnie Azoff: Go to sleep. Brookville Police Officer #1: Mr. Belfort? Jordan Belfort: Please. [we see Jordan being sentenced] Sea Otter: So let me take a moment to reintroduce myself to you. Jordan Belfort: Take it off! Donnie Azoff: Hey, what are the citizens of f**ksville doing today when their Emperor’s gone? [turning to look at Donnie who is near to tears from the fear of the storm] I do it because I f**king need to. Yeah, I have two little kids. Jordan Belfort: Chop? I got a couple of mil coming in like a week. Well, I didn’t want it there. Teresa Petrillo: What the f**k is wrong with you?! It’s three feet of water down there! It’s sad, you understand? Jordan Belfort: Morning, Nathan. A nice sampling from all over the world. P.J. Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Which is why we were popping these ludes like they were M&M’s. Jordan Belfort: Oh my, God! [Donnie quickly drives off as Brad is placed into the police car] Jordan Belfort: This is Ellis Island, you people. [we see Jordan’s dad sat watching “The Equalizer” on TV with his wife when the phone rings] Donnie Azoff: Hey, everybody, listen up! Jordan Belfort: Hi, how are you? Donnie Azoff: Question. Donnie Azoff: Hilfe! Babe, I spoke to the lawyers again today. Violet: No! Larry confessed. Naomi Lapaglia: Jesus Christ, Jordan! Teresa Petrillo: I don’t know. You don’t love me anymore, huh? [one of the brokers shouts to another] Jordan Belfort: [voice over] For three weeks we sailed the Naomi through the Caribbean, eventually taking our home to Long Island where we bought a house. I don’t f**king know! Jordan Belfort: Is that right? SEC Attorney #2: Gladys Carrera. It took ninety minutes for these little f**kers to kick in, but once they did, pow! Captain Ted Beecham: It’s going to be safe because we’ll batten down the hatches and secure the deck. Mark Hanna: We’re taking home cold hard cash via commission, motherf**ker. Stock boy. Jordan Belfort: Baby! Donnie Azoff: Is everything okay, Jord? Naomi Lapaglia: I don’t love you anymore, Jordan! Jordan Belfort: One word; diversification. Brad: I’m scared now. Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. They’re adventures, one, but they’re also a purge. I really am, I mean, cocaine, pills, whatever it is I’ll f**king do it. Jordan Belfort: Ow! Matthew McConaughey: (19:06) I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! Jordan Belfort: What we’re going to do is this. I’m going to take custody of the kids. But how’s being sober? We’re a new company with a new name. You guys and girls, and young men and women are the reason I’m here. [we see the yacht has Naomi’s name written on the side of it]. Jordan Belfort: Do I jerk off? [we see various shots of the massive house and estate] Jordan Belfort: Wait. [we see a Straight Line seminar being held in Auckland, New Zealand where the host is played by the real Jordan Belfort] [Nicholas screams] [as she tries to pull Nicky away, Jordan and Donnie continue to try and pull his wig off] Jordan Belfort: [voice over] And guess who the f**k with? Jordan Belfort: Aah! You know? And it wasn’t just about the sex either, Naomi and I got along. Violet: Mr. Jordan, you got a visitor. Max Belfort: Who’s he? Jordan Belfort: I already took care of it… Enter our new securities attorney, Manny Riskin. [whispering] Chantalle: Oh, no sh*t. Jordan Belfort: No, technically I didn’t bribe anybody. Jordan Belfort: Okay. Manny Riskin: You do recall it? Leah Belfort: It was his mother’s sister, she showed up dead. [he flexes his arm muscle] Brad: Just give me the f**king… Robbie Feinberg: Has anybody f**king seen Rhonda? [later whilst at lunch with Hanna, Jordan watches Hanna as he does a rhythmic chant while pounding his chest, Jordan looks around him awkwardly as Hanna continues to pound his chest until he finishes] But now I want you to understand, we don’t do anything illegal, whatsoever. Would you like to own a home like this, but can barely afford to pay your rent? Hold that up. We’re going to Monaco, so then we can go to Switzerland, okay? Please. A retired pharmacist client of mine, they’ve been in his safe for fifteen years. 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